Turning Around Songs

One September morning in 2020, I woke up with a song stuck in my head. A romantic song by Barry Manilow. I have not heard it in years, and could not for the life of me figure out why, of all songs, this particular one! It just kept going on and on in my head! Maddening! Until I stopped to realize there had to be a reason for it replaying over and over! The song goes something like this: ( well these are the bits and pieces which were in my head!)

“I can’t smile without you,

” I can’t laugh, I can’t sing, I’m finding it hard to do anything!

” I feel sad when your sad, I feel glad when your glad!

And it continues on. I woke up thinking, REALLY??!! And for the record, this is not about bashing this song or Barry Manilow by any means! I apologize if it is now stuck in your head too! This song all of the sudden hit me so different than the romantic way it is supposed to be viewed as.

After my divorce in 2005, I would hear a multitude of love songs which would creep up on the radio in my car, at home or on the t.v. My heart was in pieces and each piece was bleeding, so to hear any love song just made it worse! Until one day I heard a voice within me say: “Dana, turn those songs around to yourself. Sing those love songs to yourself. Turn them around so there just for you! I thought: “Wow, never thought about it that way before!”

For instance, there is a song I heard in the car one day which had a line that says: “If you can’t be with the one you love honey, love the one your with!” Well that would be me! Because I’m around myself all the time! Another one jumped out at me one day, a romantic one by the Eagles. “Love will keep us alive.” I turned it around. ” Love will keep ME alive! It became so powerful and profound for me. It can be a whole song or just phrases of one.

With the song by Barry Manilow, it made me turn it around in a very different way.

Why am I letting, or allowing someones emotions to become my own?

Just because the other person is sad doesn’t mean I have to be sad and feel that way when I don’t. “I can’t smile without you.” I should be able to smile within myself. Why am I relying on someone to make me smile? Why am I living my life through them and what they feel? Don’t get me wrong, I am all for helping people out and being there for them when they need someone. But it doesn’t mean I have to take on and absorb what they are feeling. Those emotions are their’s not mine. I can choose not to claim them for myself. So this song was a big “WOW” for me! It put things in such a different light for myself.

Songs seem to always stir us, inspire us, make us feel good or not so good. They make us dance around and get you in a happy feeling place and can romance you! For me, they sometimes stop me in my tracks and get me to open up, to look at things very differently. So if a song gets stuck in your head, or jumps in your ear, maybe there is a message contained in it. What message do you get for yourself? Stop and Listen!

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